Oppo Confession: I Want an Escalade

"Jack Does Cars" (jackdoescars)
04/03/2016 at 15:18 • Filed to: Cadillac Escalade

“Woke up this mornin’, bought myself a gun...”

As there is a 2004 model for sale an hour from me for $4,900. But there’s a few issues...

I don’t need an Escalade, it gets horrible MPG, it doesn’t fit my personality whatsoever, and when my father had a similar Escalade, I hated it. Not because it was a bad vehicle, it was perfectly fine, but I hated the stigma of unnecessary opulence. But now, I want one in some kind of ironic way. And because it’s a GM small block, the performance options are endless.

Nonetheless, I still want a 4Runner and I still want a W123 300D. I probably won’t buy a gigantic seven-seat SUV, which was over $75,000 back in 2004. I can’t afford to fill that massive tank, even though 93 octane is super cheap here in NC (~$2.10 a gallon, $55.00 or so to fill said tank), but I distinctly remember a specific journey from Olympia, WA to Yakima, WA where we averaged 12.7 MPG. And if my math works out correctly, that works out to about 315-330 miles per tank.

Nonetheless, I think the second generation Cadillac Escalade is now a cool and underrated SUV that a teenager, such as myself, does not need, nor can afford the upkeep, but desperately wants. But I can find the an Escalade for the same price as a 4Runner. They’re both reliable. They’re both safe. And they’re both cool in their own ways.

DISCUSSION (38)

Nymphicus Hollandicus > Jack Does Cars
04/03/2016 at 15:44

I just don’t see the purpose of vehicles this size unless you really need them. I wouldn’t buy it. I have a Pilot for reference and I get terrible mileage, plus everything I do (except for the few times I use the third row) can be easily done with a midsize sedan or compact hatch. Oh and there’s nothing fun about driving a large truck apart from off-roading, which I don’t do.

Slant6 > Jack Does Cars
04/03/2016 at 15:44

Just know that it’s never going to happen.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Jack Does Cars
04/03/2016 at 15:54

In my mind, there’s no point in basing a purchase on low gas prices, because to assume they will stay low would be foolish, as history shows. However, if you can live what would be typical, or perhaps higher, gas prices, then roll with it.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Jack Does Cars
04/03/2016 at 15:58

I have a feeling the 3rd Gen 4runner would be horrible in a roll over.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
04/03/2016 at 15:58

Yeah, be like me, buy something that gets 12 MPG when gas prices are around $3.50 a gallon!

OPPOsaurus WRX > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
04/03/2016 at 16:02

Yea I’m horrified by the amount of H2's I’ve seen lately.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Jack Does Cars
04/03/2016 at 16:03

You do realize that these drive worse than a Trailblazer, right? Everything that you’ve said you wanted(SUV wise), will be worse than a Trailblazer. Even the 4Runner, with the exception of feel, character, quality, and off-road capability, is worse than the Trailblazer. I would know, because before I had my 4Runner, I too drove my parents Trailblazer. It was a complete piece of shit, but holy fuck was it comfortable, fast, and good to drive on a daily basis. If I were you, I would do what I did not do, I would wait it out, save your money, and then sell the Trailblazer when you can afford something better than the Trailblazer. As much as I love my 4Runner, I wish I had have waited to buy a better, newer one.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap
04/03/2016 at 16:05

I’ve seen one(2nd gen) hit by an 18 wheeler in the rear and it was still driveable. Also, there is the 3rd gen with the tree on it that went viral. There is a reason they are slow, it’s because they put a tiny engine behind a tank.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
04/03/2016 at 16:06

True, but on the other hand, my 2WD longbed gets maybe 21 with a 4-banger... You could say that a loaded T100 4x4 would be worth the whole 4-5 mpgs lost in comparison for what it can do vs my little pickup.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
04/03/2016 at 16:16

I saw a 3rd Gen rolled on the highway and the thin pillars held up not at all.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap
04/03/2016 at 16:17

They must have been booking it lol.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
04/03/2016 at 16:20

I mean. The pillars are tiny compared to more modern cars.

Jack Does Cars > Slant6
04/03/2016 at 16:20

Oh, I know.

Jack Does Cars > Nymphicus Hollandicus
04/03/2016 at 16:21

Good point, I’m not actually going to go through with it.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap
04/03/2016 at 16:21

Yeah, after looking it up, they aren’t the best, but it’s on par for everything else from that era. Except for maybe some European cars.

Steve in Manhattan > Jack Does Cars
04/03/2016 at 16:21

I have made it very clear around here that I hate these things - it’s a Tahoe/Suburban with 20K or so worth of badgery. If you’re looking W123, check out the TD; nothing like a wagon. You could also look W124 TD - the car I wanted, but I could not find, so I bought the sedan. One year only in US - 1987. Make sure the trap and turbo have been done, check the window lifts and sunroof, and look at the self-leveling suspension in the back of the wagon (pretty sure it has it). W124 gets you 2 things W123 lacks - driver airbag and ABS.

Jack Does Cars > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
04/03/2016 at 16:22

Our TrailBlazer is not so nice. It’s not even mine to sell. But for now it’s a free car that I have access to. I’m pretty sure there is a 4Runner or a 300D in my immediate future.

Jack Does Cars > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
04/03/2016 at 16:23

I’m not going to actually buy an Escalade, it was just a wild hypothesis.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
04/03/2016 at 16:25

It has 4 or 5 stars for all the crashes they did on it but they never tested rollover.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Jack Does Cars
04/03/2016 at 16:25

Ours had been totalled before, so it was a shitbox, but it was comfortable shitbox that was free. My point is, milk the free shitbox for as long as you can. Then when you have more money saved up, then get something better than the shitbox.

touring the brook - now with ZHP! > Jack Does Cars
04/03/2016 at 16:32

These are always on chrome “spinnas” and lifted to oblivion. I saw a stock one the other day, and I still think they’re horrible. It’s everything that I hate wrapped up in a crappy early 2000's GM box.

Jack Does Cars > touring the brook - now with ZHP!
04/03/2016 at 16:38

I’m not actually doing it, do not worry.

So, hows NC?

Jack Does Cars > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
04/03/2016 at 16:40

Well, I can afford this . And it is very tempting. But I don’t get my license until June anyway.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Jack Does Cars
04/03/2016 at 16:44

Even Mini fans will tell you if you find a Cooper S for under 5k, you do not want to have any part of it.

Jack Does Cars > Steve in Manhattan
04/03/2016 at 16:44

I’m not actually buying an Escalade. But we’ve talked about W124s before, and about their perks over the W123. Wasn’t 1987 the only year of the dreaded 6-cylinder diesel, though? And there’s a clean W126 300SDL for sale about 20 minutes from me for $3,900.

Jack Does Cars > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
04/03/2016 at 16:44

I should just lease a Fiesta or something...

Sam > Jack Does Cars
04/03/2016 at 16:45

Just wait and get the 300d or the 4runner.

Impulse buys, especially when they aren't something you really want, are usually a bad idea.

Jack Does Cars > Sam
04/03/2016 at 16:46

I am not actually going to buy an Escalade. A 300D or a 4Runner? See, yes, that’s more likely.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Jack Does Cars
04/03/2016 at 16:46

If you want something fun and reliable for under 5k, that will make an excellent first car, buy a Miata. I’m not even that big of a fan of the Miata, and I considered one recently for a few of those reasons.

touring the brook - now with ZHP! > Jack Does Cars
04/03/2016 at 16:52

It was nice, we were only there for one full day. After Monday we left, but I did like it while I was there.

Steve in Manhattan > Jack Does Cars
04/03/2016 at 17:26

The SDL is a nice car - but avoid the 300SD W140 - drove one w/ the idea of replacing the 300D and it was a pig. The 6 cylinder engine was notorious until after they replaced the trap oxidizer and turbo (they did it for free on my car). Does the SDL have that 6, or the 5? But the W126 chassis is a nice ride. You can also look at a gas 300SE W126 (the guy at mercedessource.com recommends them). And the W116 - the 300SD in that range was the reason I fell in love w/ MB diesels in the first place.

Steve in Manhattan > touring the brook - now with ZHP!
04/03/2016 at 17:31

I’d spend the money and get something real ... like a Land Cruiser. Or a Rangie with a CarMax warranty - where have we heard that before?

Schaefft > Jack Does Cars
04/03/2016 at 18:44

Buy it! Fuel is cheap, parts are (probably) cheap, performance enhancements are cheap and EXT/ESVs actually look pretty awesome, too. You get decent ride quality, tons of space and all the bells and whistles you could ask for.

shop-teacher > Steve in Manhattan
04/03/2016 at 18:57

When Escalades were/are new, you’re right. Although the newer ones do have a unique engine option and a significantly nicer interior, I’d buy a Tahoe/Suburban myself. In the used market for the second gen Escalades, they command surprisingly little to no premium over their Tahoe/Suburban counterpart. May as well get the Caddy if you like the look (I don’t).

shop-teacher > Jack Does Cars
04/03/2016 at 18:58

My little sister actually has an ‘04 Esclade. $4,900 is a nice price.

Steve in Manhattan > shop-teacher
04/03/2016 at 19:19

GM has been badge-engineering for years ... The Chevy Caprice was the Pontiac Catalina was the Oldsmobile 88 was the Buick LeSabre was the Cadillac Deville. Maybe a different body panel here and there, but mostly the same.

shop-teacher > Steve in Manhattan
04/03/2016 at 19:25

Yep. No doubt about it.

Luc - The Acadian Oppo > Jack Does Cars
04/04/2016 at 10:39

Tell me about it! I want one too. Something about the second gen REALLY does it for me.

http://oppositelock.kinja.com/i-feel-like-im…